Friday, June 29, 2012

Sunshine Tavern

For our third review we found ourselves further down Division to Sunshine Tavern.

A caveat about Sunshine: We love this place. Like, love it as much as vegans secretly love bacon (Admit it -- you all know you do!).



Sunshine serves the booziest, most delicious slushee margaritas (Perfect for loosening up Mom on Mother’s Day), pizza with pork belly, fried chicken with waffles and one of my favorite pickled eggs in the city.

They also serve burgers. Bistro burgers to be exact.

Without further ado, let’s meet the meat:

“Sunshine’s griddle burger: 6 ounces of all-beef chuck, red onion, iceberg lettuce and thousand island dressing. $10.”




And to get down to business:

Bun Quality: Jason (1), Amie (1)
Brioche. Buttery. Grilled on the outside and squishy on the inside. Yum a dum dum.

Meat Quality: Jason (1), Amie (1)
Rich. Beefy. Succulent. And most importantly, without gristle. I’m not quite sure where they get their beef from but holy moly, it’s amazing (Also -- we’d love the answer, so please comment if you know the answer!).

Made to Order: Jason (1), Amie (1)
Pink and warm on the inside, slightly charred on the outside and as juicy as a ripe peach. Yeah. We went there.

Sauces: Jason (1), Amie (1)
The only sandwich I’ve seen come with Thousand Island dressing is the Reuben. I’ll admit, I was super digging on the Thousand Island that came slathered on the bottom side of the bun of Sunshine’s griddle burger. The ketchup was decent -- simply Heinz -- but, despite their despicable reliability on GMOs and high fructose corn syrup, there’s just so something so damn delicious and damn American about Heinz ketchup that it’s hard to say no...kind of like the terrible music you listened to in high school; you’re embarrassed to love it, but can’t help going back to it again and again.

Quality of Accoutrements: Jason (1), Amie (1)
Okay, are you seeing this pile-o-pickles? House made and delicious. We’re so stoked that Portland restaurants have begun the adventure of in-house pickles that we’re almost considering a “Last Portland Pickle Blog.” Although, if we’re honest, it’d probably be the FIRST Portland Pickle Blog out there (Those of you who take our idea will be sued...J/K....but no, really. Ha ha. But seriously. *Serious face*). The pickles...obviously delicious. The iceberg lettuce offered a delicious crunch that, I’ll admit, while being a terribly nutritionally-worthless vegetable, is the perfect accoutrement to a burger. Why? I think Bon Appetit’s latest issue sums it up the best: It’s crunchy, crisp and doesn’t fold to the heat of the burger. Simply put, it’s perfect.

Add On Options: Jason (1), Amie (1)
I hate to turn to internet speak but O.M.G. and F.M.L. (in the good way). Sunshine’s add on options are par none: Cheese ($1), Pork Belly ($2), Chicken Liver Mousse ($2), Spicy Brined Pickles ($1.25), Fried Egg ($2), Pickled Chiles ($2), and Another Patty ($5). Another patty? And pork belly? If there is ever...EVER a time when you’re in need in the ultimate make-you-feel-better comfort food, this burger with any of the add on options is THE answer. Break up? Get it with pork belly. Sick family member? Get it with the fried egg. Lost your job? Eff it; go for the extra patty. It’s all delicious.



What It Comes With: Jason (1), Amie (.5)
Ahhh the french fries. Now, knowing we’ve been to Sunshine multiple times before our burger adventure, I’ll admit, we’ve both had their french fries. Jason usually orders the steak that comes with fries while I (like the bitchy female) order the chicken salad...which upon completion of I dive into his french fries....which I. Can’t. Ever. Stop. Eating. Ever. Yeah, I said ever twice. These fries though were...sadly, meh. Not that crispy but still super flavorful, the fries are the only thing we disagreed on. If they had been on par that day, we would have a ten star burger.

Meat Flavor: Jason (1), Amie (1)
Just like Little Big Burger: A little salt. A little pepper. Total perfection.

Presentation: Jason (1), Amie (1)
Again, check the picture. Container of ketchup served with the bun off. Bun OFF. Oh Sunshine Tavern, your burger has us smitten.

Hit the Spot Factor: Jason (1), Amie (1)
You know when you hear a song on the radio for the first time...and that song is absolutely the best song you’ve ever heard? It’s so good in fact that you don’t only share it with all your friends, but you buy it immediately on iTunes, regardless of the fact that you’re downloading it and wasting your data usage. Yeah, this burger is THAT song. Awesome. Amazing. So much that we’re telling you all to GO GET IT NOW! Like super now...or you know, if you’re reading this way too early or too late for Sunshine Tavern to be open, then get it when they open. WOOT!


Bonus Pickle? Zero. Dang it.


Total Score: 9.25
Recommendation: Like we said in the Hit the Spot Factor -- go now. Take absolute advantage of this awesome place and this delicious burger. They’ve got happy hour from 5-6 (Which is great when you’re off of work early and want to tie one on after a Tuesday workday), great food, shuffleboard and free arcade games. This is THE place to take the family without being tied down to a lame chain restaurant (And the subsequent chain restaurant quality food that comes with your national Applebee’s and Red Robins). It’s also the place for a nice romantic date, a casual weekday meal or a midday walk stop over. Best part? They serve a beer back with their bloody marys. Ingenuity? I think so. Go there...and do so now!

Saturday, June 23, 2012

Little Big Burger

Living just off SE Division Street, Jason and I have come to learn that every month or so, a new restaurant or awesome hipster business joins the ranks of the semi-outcast promenade that is our neighborhood.

Little Big Burger piqued our interest a few months ago as we watched the construction of the red and white burger joint slowly make its way to fruition in early March.  Although I troll the Portland foodie blogs regularly, I hadn’t learned much about Little Big Burger except for the fact that it took over the old Noodles restaurant (Aw, shucks) in the Pearl District and that some of my Facebook friends jonesed for the little ground round as much as Jason does for In-N-Out.

So, while stuck at Little Big Burger’s nearest major intersection -- the godforsaken corner that is 39th and Division -- during peak traffic hour, I (yes, illegally) pulled out my iphone and looked LBB up. Much to my surprise, it’s a Micah Camden venture.

For those of you not in the foodie blogosphere or culinary cache, Micah Camden is sort of like the
Terrence Mallick of the film world; a quiet, unassuming man of incredible ingenuity, eye, talent and wonder as a director, every movie he’s directed, from Badlands and Days of Heaven to The Thin Red Line and Tree of Life, his most recent. While his repertoire is but a couple of handful of movies over the last decade, every one throws him into the spotlight like an eternal directing legend.


Micah Camden is so similar: Quietly creating and directing many of Portland’s tastiest, unique and successful restaurants -- Yakuza, DOC and Boxer Sushi. Just like T. Mal, M. Cam is no longer able to quietly craft his next culinary digs behind the scenes; he’s too big of a name (And thank goodness for that)! The fact that he’s about to open yet another LBB is a testament to that.

The crisp appeal of the red and white building, playfully decorated with enticing yet powerful words and art, is nearly impossible to ignore, whether you’re a kid, adult or hungry burger ranker. Among the three burger menu you’ll find truffle oil french fries, root beer floats, canned soda and perhaps the best of all, a long list of canned beers.

But enough geeking out. Let’s find out how the Little Big Burger stacks up to the Ten Hammandments.

Meat: The Contender -- A ¼ pound of Cascade Natural beef, local brioche buns, local cheeses, organic  veggies and Camden’s catsup or a ¼ pound vegetarian burger made by Marie at Chez Gourmet. Price: $3.25, $3.75 with cheese, $3.50 for the veg.


Bun Quality: Jason (1), Amie (1)
That quarter pound patty is nestled between a little brioche bun, buttered and grilled to the perfect level of honeyed yellow rimmed with the occasional dark brown char. The bun doesn’t sweat in its wrapper, but stays buoyant, fresh and ready to take on all the toppings with gusto and might.

Meat Quality: Jason (1), Amie (1)
You can’t go wrong with Cascade Beef. Ever.

Made to Order: Jason (1), Amie (1) 
Each burger (save the veggie patty) was served medium rare, as ordered: Pink yet warm on the inside yet magically crispy on the outside. Moreover, both of Jason’s came without onions, as requested.

Sauces: Jason (1), Amie (1) 
Housemade, housemade, housemade. Your burgers, which come seductively slathered with aioli and special sauce, are perfect. Add on a squeeze of Camden’s Catsup (available at New Seasons, woohoo!) and you’ve got fireworks.

Quality of Accoutrements: Jason (1), Amie (1) 
Organic onions, pickles, shredded lettuce and tomatoes (when in season) are so snappy they scream in delight with every attacking bite.

Add On Options: Jason (1), Amie (1)
LBB offers the usual -- bacon and cheese -- but takes the cheese to another whole level with four local options including Tillamook cheddar or swiss, chevre and Oregon blue cheese. And the bacon? Fried crispy but with a slight tooth that keeps you chewing on the salty dud with delight. The burger maestro working at the time recommended the Veggie WITH bacon and we already can’t wait to go back.

What It Comes With: Jason (0), Amie (0)
The truffle oil french fries are to die for, so much in fact that one evening as we were walking back home after a delicious and filling Pok Pok meal, we bopped into LBB JUST for the fries which come with both fry sauce and Camden’s Catsup. Unfortunately, they’re not technically a side dish that come with the price of the burger. However, at just $3 a bag, the salty, oily morsels are well worth the investment.

Meat Flavor: Jason (1), Amie (1)
A little salt and a little pepper and that’s it. And it’s a duo so dynamic I think upon first bite, even Batman and Robin would fall to their strength.

Presentation: Jason (1), Amie (1)
For a burger wrapped in compostable paper and tossed into a compostable brown paper bag, the presentation is perfectly Portland. Not a thing goes to waste (including the catsup and special sauce containers), which adds to ritual of shucking the small burgers from their shells.

Hit The Spot Factor: Jason (1), Amie (1)
We wish these were served during cocktail hour at our wedding. Damn it.

Bonus Pickle? 0

Total Score: 9


Overall Recommendation:
Those of us California transplants who moved up here, realized just about everything is way better and decided to stay, can’t help but agree that Little Big Burger is no exception. Down south In-N-Out Burger is hands down the best fast food burger you can get. Little Big Burger is just about the closest thing Oregon’s got to In-N-Out; small, simple menu, good ingredients, red and white branding. But as hard as it was to admit, in a head to head fight Little Big Burger kicked In-N-Out in the crotch so hard, it threw up a little. And LBB wins on four counts; 1. Beef: It’s just better, 2. Cheese: Real, local stuff, not American, 3. Bacon: No bacon at In-N-Out, 4. Beer: No beer at In-N-Out either. (And really, the last two would be enough for a win by themselves.) But aside from beating up In-N-Out in front of all its friends, Little Big Burger is an unassuming, cheap burger that can easily hold its own with the best burgers in town. Do yourself a kindness and hit that!

Monday, June 18, 2012

Clyde Common

Perhaps it’s fitting that Clyde Common’s logo is a meat cleaver, considering the downtown restaurant, located adjacent to the Ace Hotel on 10th and Stark, was first on our chopping block.

Why did this joint, praised as one of America’s Best Bars in Esquire, top our list? Because of the accolades their burger has also earned: Lauded as the BEST happy hour burger in Portland by Portland Monthly magazine AND written about in secret code by their Editor-In-Chief were compelling enough reasons.

Plus, after seeing Prometheus for a second time, we really wanted a happy hour burger.

Before diving into the burger though, a little about the restaurant. From their site:

“Opened in May 2007 by Nate Tilden and Matt Piacentini, Clyde Common is a European style tavern serving delicious food and drinks in a casual and energizing space.” (Agreed; it’s an awesome space and the drinks are indeed delicious)

Meat: The Contender -- A 6 ounce hamburger sandwich with pickled onions and lettuce. Add cheddar or blue or bacon for $1.5 (Though their website menu says $1). Price: $6

And how was The Bar/Bistro burger? Quite frankly, a major letdown. Let’s do the math:

Bun Quality: Jason (0), Amie (0)

That baby may as well have come from a sweaty plastic bag left outside in the hot sun after a picnic. It fell apart. Crumbled. And wasn’t toasted.

Meat Quality: Jason (0), Amie (1)

While my burger was rich with that perfect fall-apart-quality, Jason’s was bombed by gristle so chunky and large he had to spit it out. We’re curious to know how two burgers, ordered at the exact same time came out completely inconsistent.

Made to Order: Jason (1), Amie (1)

The patty was so medium rare I was almost afraid of getting sick. Perfection.

Sauces: Jason (0), Amie (.5)

The bun was slathered with so much homemade aioli -- which, don’t get us wrong, was tasty -- that it overpowered the deliciously spicy, thick stone ground mustard the burger was served with. The real disappointment though was the lack of ketchup -- and the lack of the offer for it. Fortunately, the fries we ordered came with red harissa, (A spicy concoction of roasted red bell peppers, pureed with vinegar, garlic, chiles and seasonings) which finalized the burger trifecta with a saucy spirited twist. However, without the fries, you don’t get the harrisa, and this burger needed it desperately.

Quality of Accoutrements: Jason (0), Amie (.5)
This burger comes with tart pickled onions and a leaf of lettuce. Pickled onions (as usual) are totally awesome. But we could have used twice as many, especially to back up the overall lack of flavor going on with this burger. We get that this is a $6 happy hour burger, but come on Clyde, don’t you want it to taste good?

Add On Options: Jason (1), Amie (1)

Like any rad restaurant serving a burger, Clyde Common got the add ons right on. Their white cheddar was as good as any, but kinda like the onions, just wasn’t enough to improve the overall flavor. The bland meat  was still too much for it. Adding the bacon probably would have helped quite a bit, but bacon helps everything. Long story short, if you’re hitting this burger for happy hour, splurge on the add-ons.

What It Comes With: Jason (0), Amie (0)

As we stated in the Ten Hammandments, we respect the happy hour burger’s WalMart price tag and acknowledge we indeed, won’t be having fries with that. Nonetheless, what we keep in our wallets, the happy burger loses in Hammandment points. It’s simply the way of the beast. That said, the $3 french fries we did order -- the ones that came with that delicious harissa -- are salty, crunchy, thin and serve as a solid wingman to an otherwise hopeless burger.

Meat Flavor: Jason (0), Amie (0)

A little salt, even just a whisper of it, goes a long way and would have done so with this beef patty.

Presentation: Jason (0), Amie (0)

Lettuce, pickled onions and mustard on the side. Bun should be open right? It wasn’t. And while that didn’t put a damper on my burger, it further ruined Jason’s burger as the cheese started to stick Gorilla Glue style to that closed bun. If you’re going to let us assemble the burger, totally cool, just leave the bun off so we can assemble it.

Hit the Spot Factor: Jason (0), Amie (.25)

Personally, I had been jonesing for a GOOD burger ever since my company got Red Robin for lunch (Okay, so it was only two days). I’m wondering if Red Robin’s affinity for throwing crispy onion straws on every burger would have made any one of them hit the spot more than Clyde Common’s. In all honesty, those onion straws stand a good chance considering Clyde’s burger, despite the large pour of whiskey and hoppy IPA I sucked down before taking a first bite, was a total and complete let down. For Jason, the gristle was the blow that truly topped off a burger that looked so nice yet fell so hard.

Bonus Pickle? Zero.

Total Score: 3.375

Overall recommendation: Go for the whiskey. With Pappy Van Winkle’s on the menu, you won’t be disappointed.


Sunday, June 17, 2012

Meat: The Contenders

While the burger, at its very core has a single definition -- a ground beef patty fried or grilled, served between a bun -- in restaurants today, we’ve seen this simple creation explode into a veritable profusion of variety.

We Americans are fortunate to have such a cornucopia of cow to choose from, even though it does make our task of finding the best burger in Portland a bit trickier.

That said, let’s meet the meat so you know what we’ll be diving into.

1. The Standard: I can’t imagine there’s much explanation needed here. The Standard is the burger you grew up eating during backyard family BBQs. The meat was well done, the bun came from the inside of a sweaty bag, the condiments were sliced and piled onto a plate by Mom and the sauces were good old fashioned Heinz.  

2. The Diner: The Diner burger is what the Standard morphs into as you grow up and earn a more distinguished palate. Yet, unlike the backyard BBQ you happily rolled around in, you don’t want to see the place where your Diner comes from. It’s cliche, but come on, we all know the Diner’s fried in the back by Big Jim, a pot bellied hairy man reeking of whiskey and cigarettes -- which oddly enough, is typically how one feels after ingesting that ¼ pound ball of greasy beef.

3. The Bar: Banking on the well known fact that Americans who drink beer like burgers, the Bar is as much of staple as nachos (and totchos if you’re a lucky Portlander), wings and bad music. And of course, just like the music you hated when you walked into the bar, the Bar Burger usually only gets better with every beer you imbibe.

4. The Bistro: The Bistro is the burger all gussied up, ready for the prom. It’s typically 6 ounces of grass-fed, organic (And hopefully local) beef, made medium and served up on an artisinal bun delivered fresh that morning from a local bakery. The condiments are often house-made and the add-ons are fresh, local and usually jack up the cost of the already $12 Bistro to a price tag more often worn by a steak.

5. The Slider: Small, satisfying and simple, the Slider is that little scrumptious burger whose teeny tiny cuteness makes it more than okay to order multiple...without feeling like a big fat cow (Which is probably why they’ve been one of the latest crazes in restaurants over the last year).

6. The Fast Food: While I can’t imagine we’ll be partaking in too many drive-thru order sessions, we can’t discount this greasy behemoth and the pay at least one homage to Ray Kroc (After all, while I’m anti McDonalds, everyone has their own McDonalds).

7. The Monster: The Monster is the creation of a Dr. Frankenstein chef who pioneers the burger to the appeal of the weekend warrior type of eater. Not a burger that merely satiates, the Monster crams, stuffs and fills every little nook and cranny of your stomach so that Thanksgiving and Christmas meals combined might be less filling.

8. The Veggie: Most beef burger aficionados would say the Veggie is like someone enduring a midlife crisis -- it’s trying way, way too hard to be something it’ll never actually be. That said, the Veggie, when it hasn’t come from a frozen box, can actually be way enjoyable.

9. The Non Beef: The Non Beef, like someone who got pulled over after pounding a few back, walks a very fine line: Whether it’s a lamb, pork or something entirely different, One step off that line and the Non Beef is looking at some hefty fines. However, if it successfully sings and dances its way to the finish line without error, the Non Beef can celebrate sidestepping a serious situation.

Thursday, June 14, 2012

The Ten Hammandments (Infographic)


The Ten Hammandments

“Yeah yeah yeah, big woop. Who are these people to write about burgers AND how do they even decide what’s good and what isn’t?”

Oh my goodness, I’m so glad you asked! After MUCH debate (Doesn’t that just come with the territory of marriage?), we landed upon The Ten Hammandments (Yes, I’m fusing the Bible and the word of God with, in my opinion, the most heavenly food available) with which we’ll rate burgers on.

Each of us gets 1 point to grant per category. We will then combine and average the scores to wind up with a final score. As you’ll learn, the best burger can earn 11 points -- granted they hit that bonus point.

And now, for the Ten Hammandments:

1. Bun: Does it fall apart upon first touch? Is the bread too hard so bite through that it forces all the goods out upon first nosh? Or is it toasted, fluffy and flavored with butter, grain and perfection?... you know, crunchy on the outside -- fortified to hold it’s outside -- but soft enough on the inside to be spongy and bouyant enough to really hug, hold and love without avail that incredulously juicy meat?

2. Meat: This is a biggie. Did the restaurant grind the meat itself? Is it an obvious pre-made patty? Is there gristle that makes us want to vomit? Or is it smooth and rich with that fall-apart-in-your-mouth quality?

3. Made to order: We like our burgers medium rare. You give us a burger medium or -- dare I say, well done -- and you’ll experience a passive aggressive wrath so severe you’d wish you were Ripley fighting Aliens (Because let’s face it; that’s scary as hell but she still wins. Mr. or Mrs. Chef, you wouldn’t win otherwise).

4. Sauces: What does your burger come with? A big plllllllllfffffffffffhhhh of mayo so congealed we’d rather eat 4 hour old scrambled eggs? Or is there a homemade aioli, flavored with secret spices? Coupled with a crunchy, nasally-hot stone ground mustard and a non-high fructose corn syrup ketchup we wish we had more of just to be able to take a finger dollop of?

5. Accoutrements: Or to be less snobby and thesaurus happy about it, what’s that baby coming with? A slice of bagged iceburg? Or an organic red leaf skirt? A seedy tomato that’s more white than red? Or a beefy tomato I’ll actually eat by itself? Finely chopped onions (Jason’s food phobia) or pickled onions so tart he’d eat an entire bulb of them? Pickles that are homemade (sweet or dill will earn points) or jarred generics we bury under our crumpled napkin?

6. Add Ons: Oh baby, oh baby. These can make or break a burger. The cheese. The bacon. The anything else you can imagine would be delectable on a burger. What do you offer? How well does it meld with the rest of your stack of umami heaven? And how much does it jack up the cost of a well priced burger?

7. Accompaniments: We’re not blind to the fact that many happy hour and fast food burgers are sans fries. Nonetheless, we’re also grading burgers on what they come with. Fries? Side salad? Beans? Potato salad? Nothing at all? We need sides...especially if the burger is less than amazing.

8. Meat Flavor: Meat flavor is a BIG factor in what makes a burger less than amazing. Yes, you can cook it perfectly to how we ordered it, the quality of the meat can be awesome but people, people, people, a titch of salt goes a long way in bringing flavor out and we want that flavor. I appreciate a beefy tasting burger, but we want that beefiness to sing, Tosca style.

9. Presentation: This is our big debate, but after heavy conversations over our favorite beers, we have finally reached a consensus.

And that consensus is that there are two types of burgers. There’s the burger that, like the super hot yet unassuming of her hotness girl has such intense “I’m Awesome” confidence, it arrives to the table bun DOWN. Then, pitched in the other tent you’ll find the, “Hey, I can morph into whatever you want me to be” burger...ladened with the lettuce, pickles, onions and tomato on the side. Both are AWESOME.

Here’s where the points come in: If you’re the confident girl burger, you need to presented bun-patty-bun. If you’re the burger with options, you better be open for suggestions. Why? Because it’s an invitation to indulge in this culinary consummation. While we understand a chef has a specific way s/he wants something to be enjoyed, it’s unreasonable to ask a diner to divulge of their desires when they’re presented with the option to change it up (Which, let’s face it, is exactly what the burger provides). Bun on when it should be off? No points. Bun off when it should be on? Also...zero dinero.

10. Hit the Spot Factor: This one’s intangible but every person knows that feeling. Knows what it feels like to crave something with your very innate essence...and knows what it feels like to have that craving sated. Like, completely and entirely sated. If a burger doesn’t make us close our eyes, moan in ways that makes other diners around us uncomfortable, glare at each other as we’re eyeing each other’s last bites...then that burger isn’t getting a point. We need burgers that basically rival our wedding day (Which is a tall order as our wedding day was awesome).

11. The Bonus Pickle: That’s right. You put a pickle on the plate next to that burger -- not one that’s destined to lay in between patty and bun -- and, (Let’s go all internet speak with this one) OMG, you’re so beyond the best that you can earn an extra point. Bring on those bonus pickles.

So...that’s it. Slightly pretentious. Slightly perfectionist oriented. But totally and completely rational.

Let the rating begin.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Recommendations

For anyone who knows, lives in or worships Portland, you’re more than aware of the fact that Portland has a lot of restaurants, a lot of carts and a lot of burgers.

Which means, we need your help.

Have a favorite place you want us to rate? Know of a place you’ve always wanted to try but haven’t mustered up the gusto to do so yet? Feel like being cruel by forcing us to try a burger so awful we might as well be eating feet?

Let us know! Let us know! Let us know!

How can you do that?

Click “Profile” on our blog. Then, leave a comment. Leave lots of comments, actually; whatever’s on that intelligent little mind of yours!

That way, we’ll respond, tell you when we’re going to try your recommendation and when we’ll report back on it.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Welcome to the Last Portland Burger Blog

The burger. It’s a juicy, esculent and downright delicious experience of four of the basic food groups : Fatty, ground beef; fresh, rich cheese; crisp, crunchy vegetables; and juice-sopping grains; all scientifically situated to dance with one another in a mesmerizing four person samba that is just oh...so...satisfying.

To quote our favorite TV show:

“Just a burger? JUST a burger? I mean...that first bite -- oh, what heaven that first bite is. The bun, like a sesame freckled breast of an angel, resting gently on the ketchup and mustard below, flavors mingling in a seductive pas de deux. And then...a pickle! The most playful little pickle! Then a slice of tomato, a leaf of lettuce and a...a patty of ground beef so exquisite, swirling in your mouth, breaking apart, and combining again in a fugue of sweets and savor so delightful. This is no mere sandwich of grilled meat and toasted bread. This is God, speaking to us in food.”

I’m a writer (Yes this is Amie here) and even I struggle with putting the most satisfying comfort food into a well versed enough description to do it justice (I acknowledge the burger isn’t EVERYONE’s most satisfying comfort food, but come on, we’re American. And Americans like burgers).

What I can do, love to do and want to do -- and what I’ve happily taught Jason about, rendering him an acutely-palated foodie who’s as snobby as I am -- is WRITE about food. Rate it. Talk about it and compare it with foods I’ve experienced in the past and foods I want to grapple with in the future.

And that, my friends and family, fellow burger aficionados and random readers who come across this prurient blog describing that succulent, scrumptious and saliva-inducing sandwich, is exactly what we plan on doing:

Embracing, enjoying and embellishing upon those Portland burgers so good we cry when we take the last bite (And in turn, try to distract the other in hopes for a second last bite); burgers like movies we’d rather wait to rent than see on the big screen; and burgers so awful we’re wishing Monday morning would magically and immediately arrive, as the first day of our 50 hour weeks would be far, far better.

We hope you enjoy our musings!